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Problems history

Hi, everybody.I guess my confession will be just sadness. I'm going to a technical school. I've gone through more than you can imagine. At school, the challenge of ridiculing myself was a standard that lasted 4 years (6th grade and the whole junior high school) at that time I also had my first suspected cancer.I started not one by one, but it's hard. The divorce of my parents and in front of him watching the violence was also the norm I still have in front of my eyes like a father strangled my mother because something didn't suit him. I tried to forgive him for so many years and in a way it worked.In April I meta girl who I loved, I was convinced that she was also wrong, but after 5 months she wrote that she doesn't feel anything for a long time and that we can become friends. I'm a boyfriend because I'm still missing a man but I decided to fight, I'm doing all I can but it doesn't work. Two days before she left me, I had my tests again. diagnosis?It's been over a monthand I'm still nwm whether I'm sick or not. I lie to everyone around me that I'm healthy even my closest family except my aunt who knows everything. I'm starting to run out of strength and yet I'm still fighting for it and trying to fix everything (even the relationship with my father)... Sometimes when I'm not strong enough I start crying, which I'm not ashamed of, but tell me, is there something wrong with me? That I'm the only one fighting for all this? Maybe it would be easier to give up? I don't know, but I know that nobody is helping me and they even make me cry because of the emotional and physical pain or even because I'm fighting for the girl I love.

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