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Loneliness

So far I've only read your confessions, decided to add my own. I have been feeling lonely for a very long time, actually since always. I don't have friends, I don't have a person I can rely on. I have a few friends with whom I sometimes meet, but they have already arranged their lives. I don't think they even care about mine. No one will ever write to me first, what's going on with me, etc. Unless they want something from me. I'm always the one who visits someone, I'm the first one to talk. I'm not invited anywhere, I don't go to parties, I don't have anyone and where. I don't even have a girlfriend. I tried several times, but nothing ever came out of it, so I gave up on it. I'm tired of asking my family questions about when I'll find someone, because I'm over 20 years old and it's time. There used to be some fleeting acquaintances that gave a false idea of friendship. But many times I have been exploited, lied to, by these pseudo-friends. This also meant that I lost confidence in people. I have the impression that everyone who talks to me has some interest in it, does it for something to gain from it in some way. I'm a resourceful person, I'm not missing anything, I'm trying to be independent and I never wanted to be a person like a lot of people did with me, I thought I needed help, so I did it. But I know I can't count on anyone. Despite all my injuries, I try to be a good person, I want to believe that somebody will appreciate it. I envy all those people who have real friends and can count on someone. I feel terribly unhappy, I know that I lose a lot of things, I missed a lot of important events, I could have beautiful memories, but it didn't work. I also know that life can be beautiful, but there is no indication that something will change.

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