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A friend of

My friend is a few days older than me. She is also very sociable, always smiling, athletic, intelligent. You can fool around with her, but also talk about difficult topics or just confide in problems. And she always helps. Such a friend, you could say: perfect. But there is one problem. I'm the type of person who, when she has more than two or three friends, goes crazy and starts being mean and arguing. That's why I have one real friend. And I don't like how my friends have other friends. I know it sounds selfish, but I really am a sensitive person and I never really wanted to hurt my friends. I tolerate their other friends, but I'd rather be the most important one. And that's where my problem begins. Well, my friend, she talks to me about her adventures with her other friend, even though she knows that I don't like it. It's like she wants to show that the things they do are more interesting than the things we do. It hurt me a lot, as she accidentally called me after that friend. It was a simple mistake, but my heart broke. Additionally, every time you hug someone, you look at me. We don't hug each other (even though I would like to, because she is my best friend and apart from mental support I also need physical support). Whenever she drinks someone else's drink, she looks at me so that I get the impression that she wants to show me that there are people with whom she is physically closer than to me. When I wanted to fix her hair and I stretched out my hand towards her, she jumped away. I really don't know what's going on. I'm asking for help. And please don't hey, even if you don't like my "requirements" about friends. I'm just the ambiguous type. Thank you in advance for your advice.

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