I've been doing this once... all over again.
I wanted to make a very long and effusive confession in which I would tell the whole situation, but when I started to think about everything and analyze it, I can't put it into words properly. I guess the only thing I've grown up to do in practically two years is say sorry... Today I don't think of you anymore, like I did some time ago, I just can't get angry anymore. I don't want to hide my anger like you told me. I know it's never gonna be like it used to be, I don't even know if we'll ever meet again... but I don't know what's tomorrow. All this time I have burdened you with most of the blame and directed all my anger at you, today I don't even know where it came from. I've changed that I can tell for sure and I've started to look at the whole situation through your eyes. Now I see I haven't shown you the trust you deserved, the trust you asked for... I could've done a little too softly, it was all anger... today I don't understand my choices anymore, it was a difficult time for me.
But the most unfair thing on my part was being angry with you because you didn't reach out to me and you didn't speak to me all this time. I thought you didn't care, but I never saw that I was doing the same thing as you, and maybe you think exactly the same thing as me?
I think about our friendship once less and once less but I remember. Well, I will not hide my longing for hours of senseless conversations until the morning, laughing at the monitor like a jerk, standing in front of the cinema for an hour and arguing about what film we will go to this time, waiting for midnight on New Year's Eve to come to terms with each other because we have always been denied it, those drunken confessions that I will not forget for the rest of my life... I miss even our quarrels because no one can stand up like you. But it's probably been too long since I could fix it all, I don't have the courage. I don't want... to make you angry with me. Maybe one day the universe will surprise us and we'll meet again... even though we live so close, it's so far away.K.