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Suicidal thoughts

Hi. I'm 12 years old, and I live happily ever after. At least it seems so. For several months now I have often watched a lot of videos about anorexia and depression. As far as anorexia is concerned, I may soon fall into it. Recently I've also started to hold my breath for as long as possible, and when I take a bath or go into the bathroom, for example, I look at my razor and imagine how cool it would be if such warm blood started dripping on my hands. Often you sit for 2 hours and look at the wall without thinking about anything. Sometimes she's dreaming, she thinks it would be great to sleep for eternity. And when I was at the colony this summer, my friend hit me so hard that I started scratching on my hands and there was one long scar left, which my mother didn't believe. I don't have friends because it doesn't suit people. I play the clarinet, I sing, I play plays and they what? Girls are all fake girls chasing gimbuses, and boys? They're just cretins (those in my class). What am I supposed to do to feel good?

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drink cocoa, talk to your mum about it, that you're not feeling well and don't talk to her because you're ashamed or if you don't talk to anyone about it, you can take it easy, sooner or later, without talking to anyone, just ... expand your commentary by cutting so much into the topic
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@whateverkek okay. I'll try. Maybe it'll do something.
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