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Who am I? history

Hello, this confession will belong to the saddest and most grammatical ones because of the fact that I do not live in Poland, and I have never been a master of Polish language, So you're wondering what he wants to share with you, whether it's a confession of love or some kind of injury, the title itself indicates it less, but I really don't know what the confession is about. Let's start with me: I'm 18 years old, I live in Norway, I have loving parents, great friends, a loved one and a teenager's life, so where is my problem? but my life seems great. My problem is that I don't know who I am every day I put on a mask and try to get through the day in the shade, peace and quiet. Although in my pack I'm considered to be the most talkative and funny, you don't even know how much energy it costs me to pretend to be someone else every day, but why does it really pretend? why doesn't he show anybody who I am? Because I don't know, my miserable existence is only to survive I'm like Hyena or other safflower animal, I'll eat up everything I see watching people's behavior, jokes and even style, I've always done that I don't have any childhood trauma I just learned to do it so I wouldn't be rejected by anyone. In the crowd of friends I feel restful but also lonely, with my family I have always pretended and I am quite an embarrassing child, and in order not to be rejected by my beloved I became a perfect man with her dream. I've got it all sucked up, so why does it feel so empty? I don't even know why I've described it to you here, but I'd like to ask you if I need a psychologist or a psychiatrist?

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To some extent I understand you, I think you should talk to somebody alone and talk. I'm sure there would be a solution.
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You have a split personality
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