A bad date? Then read about my...
I don't think anybody's gonna beat me up about a failed date.
I met a guy I met online in the dark. He came on a date in felts that he was wiping on his flower beds because "yo wore the shit out of here, how he beat up to you with shortcuts." When he finished wiping his shoes off the pile, he put a handkerchief that he threw under my feet and then stroke me on the face with the same hand, saying: "But you're a pinkna."
We went into the bar, although I wanted to run away, and when the waitress took the order, my date was farting on the whole regulator with words: "Because yo yo yo often gas and hurts when I don't rush." Before I recovered from the shock and ran away, I could still hear the waitress come back and ask if we could have some alcohol, to which he replied: "Ni, I can't, I'm a priest."
I've never come home so fast in my life.