The dream of the future and my karma...
About 3-4 years ago, I met a boy in Stockholm. Handsome, I had soft knees to see him. We worked together at the disco, he as a bodyguard from the sky because he works in the hospital as a girl charging for the entrance to the club.
We always kept an eye on each other and on the first evening we worked together I knew that something clicked between us. At work we bumped into each other maybe 4 times in a year and a half.
When the club was sold to another owner, we all said that we were finishing the work there because the team would change, that is, the security guards, the goalkeepers and me.
Of course I met him that day. Christina. After work around 3 in the morning he escorted me to the car and then our story began. We didn't talk about how we felt about each other before because we worked together and we both didn't want to have acid at work.
This evening, we asked ourselves, do we do something with this knowledge or do we leave it as it is? Of course we exchanged numbers and after that we started to call, write and meet for a date.
He's 28 years old and I'm 21. None of us had the age difference as an obstacle. We spent a romantic evening and then we went home to him. That's where the foreplay took place because he said that "he's a gentleman" and that he won't touch me. In the morning, breakfast in bed, then I went home and he went to work.
After this meeting we saw him again at his house about a month later because he had a lot of work and I still went to school then. After the meeting, he drove me home and that's it. Then he called me a couple of times at night when he was in town with his buddies waiting for me to reach him at midnight. Of course I didn't do it.
The contact was broken for a while. A year ago, I spent my holidays in Turkey, of course, after an intoxicating night with another boyfriend he spoke to me! They'd take the devil... If he had talked the day before, nothing would have happened to that one. Then we wrote... day after day, he called me even when I was in Poland. We had regular contact until I got back to Stockholm. We met one day for a picnic on the beach and I was hoping that maybe everything would finally work out, because he was always so busy that he never had time for me, or our graphics collided with each other. At the picnic it was fun as if we never parted! He was hugging me lying on a spoonful on the beach. But neither of us dared to declare and go one step further.
After that, contact broke up again. I got to study in Gothenburg (he always believed in me), and he changed jobs, sold his own company and was still free. But we were 45 miles apart.
When I was there, one day I told him I felt like a toy he takes when he gets bored... I told him everything! He was my first love, but I guess we weren't written to each other or that he didn't care about me as much as I did for him...
Then I found out that he felt the same way about me (that he was in love) but he was afraid that he couldn't offer me what he deserved. That's the kind of attention I was expecting. Today I know that he was the only one I fell in love with, and I still feel it for him.
I wrote to him last time I heard from him, but he didn't reply. I think he either forgot to write back or he already found someone because he read my message.
It was my karma... Because before I met him I was 3 months with one boy who confessed his love to me and I broke up with him because I decided that he was a bull in the clouds. I didn't want to give him false hopes and cheat on myself because I didn't feel anything for him.
Today I know it was possible. Karma returns with double the force...
If you read this and feel like you're in a similar situation, grasp the day and don't be afraid to feel it. I'll probably talk to Christina one day, because I know that he and I felt the same way, and it won't leave me alone until I try or until we close the subject.